The District Chronicles

Issue date: 6/15/08 Section: Neighborhood

Media Credit: Taiwo Odeyale

Twice a month, 30 men, young, middle aged, and old, sit in a circle behind a closed door in a large classroom on the second floor of C.B. Powell Communications Building at Howard University. They're members of Man Up, an organization dedicated to getting men to open up and share their innermost feelings, thoughts and experiences.

Other than 'no women allowed,' there are no rules except that what is said in these meetings stays in the meetings. Therefore no participant ever has to worry that his confessions will be disclosed outside the Man Up meeting - especially to women.

A Man up meeting is not a touchy-feely affair. There are some arguments, profanity and a lot of disagreement about such classic issues as how to treat a woman or expressing emotions in public.

But at the end of the night, participants will have discussed a range of personal, emotional and social issues. Some men leave the classroom feeling better about their evolving self-confidence and willingness to be vulnerable. They feel good about their growing willingness to share their personal feelings and life's many episodes.

"Man Up is a program that gives you a structure for your goals. It gives you a life coach, every single month for free," said Shimon Starfury, a 34-year-old veteran.

Starfury, who stands six feet, two inches and weighs in at 200 pounds, said Man Up helped him through a dark period in his life and made him the man he is today. He joined the group in November 2005 after extensive military tours around the world finishing up in Iraq. He described this time as a difficult and emotionally challenging time. But he said for the first time in his life, he has an emotional outlet to get out all of his anger, rage and emotional garbage in a positive and productive way.

Jim Brown and David Woods of Howard's John H. Johnson School of Communications and Darryl Moment of ABC started the program to combat the view that it is "wimpy," and in some cases taboo for men to express their feelings.

Bernadette Williams, senior student counselor in the School of Communications, is the only woman with any association with the group. She is one of the founding members, but even she is forbidden from the meetings.

The program is open to men of all ages; the youngest has been 9 years old and the oldest in his sixties. Man Up, Brown said, is there to teach young men the difference between being "male" and being a "man."

"A man takes responsibility for himself, protects his women and doesn't abuse them," Brown said. "He does not exploit a woman's beauty and doesn't call women derogatory names. A male would do all of those things."

Founders of Man Up are happy with the results of the program, which has inspired a female version of the program, Sister to Sister.

The eventual goal is for Man Up chapters to be set up across the country and the world. The opportunity for expression that Man Up provides, they said, is making a positive impact in their lives of participants and could help spark a change in society as the program grows. Starfury couldn't agree more.

"Man Up changed my attitude and perspective," Starfury said. "I think it should go national. It should be in all schools, military organizations, and business organizations. I think we would see a change."

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